SL during Midlife Crisis

Believe or not, there's social love during a midlife crisis.  Its the fantasy of your new being, which guides you!

What I mean by a midlife crisis is the point in time in an individual's life, usually occurring from ages 40 to 50, when he asks the question of his own existence, such as in the form, "Is that all there is?"  He expresses a feeling of boredom with his life's pattern amid the cognizance of his own humanity (i.e., half his life is over).  "Is there more to me than what I've done so far?" he ponders.  "I know where I've been, but where am I going (before I die)?"

My own Midlife Crisis
I underwent the crisis at age 42.  At the time, I was teaching philosophy full-time at a community college outside of Chicago.  I had done some publishing in the field but discovered that further publishing and promotion in the field of philosophy would be difficult as an Instructor at a community college.  So, I was motivated to re-think my career options.  Further, there was the moment of angst:  I was seated at a conference table of the faculty senate among other members.  The chairman of this august group called the role, thereupon commented "Well, I can see we're all here; and are likely to be in these same seats for many years to come!"  Ha, Ha; the group responded.  At that instant, I realized I didn't want to be teaching at a community college for the next up-teen years!  I was driven to facing my future!

I launched a quest to find my true self.  I read up on the lives of philosophers over the centuries and was taken by the humanist movement of the Renaissance, where there were several philosophers whose biographies included interests far and beyond the realm of philosophy--into science and even commerce.  A humanist in the Middle Ages considered himself an individual of far-ranging interests into all fields of knowledge.

In my years beyond high school, I worked in the business world as a desk clerk, a cashier in a bakery, a warehouse clerk; and even considered working as a businessman, e.g., for the Walt Disney company, with whom I interviewed while in graduate school.  So, I didn't think re-entering the world of business was impossible for me.  Also, I knew that the famed philosopher Bertrand Russell was also a logician, a mathematician.  Piecing elements of my past together with the experiences of others with a philosophical background, I thought it was not beyond the realm of possibility for me to become a computer programmer and put my logic skills to use.  That's it:  I would become a computer programmer in industry!

At the time, I was married, raising two boys.  It was a frightening thought to entertain my fantasy of a new self.  It was really crisis time.  My wife was teaching English at a local high school, but because she wanted to re-locate to California, she was willing to help me make the transition by teaching at a community college part-time at night.  I would have to take a severe pay cut from my teaching salary and put in for a leave-of-absence for a year.  Upon leaving the college, my colleagues in unison voiced the opinion, "You'll be back and glad to re-take your teaching philosophy!"  Reminds me  of what a prison guard predicts of a prisoner about to be released, "See you soon!"

Anyway, I made it out into the business world alone and survived.  Not only that but  I proved to be really good as a programmer early on (largely due to a woman programmer who took pity on me); and an insurance company moved my entire family to Silicon Valley, California from the Chicago area within less than a year of my being in industry.  However, I learned that that the piper must pay.

Within approximately four years, I and my family parted company.  I had become a new creature through the career change.  It's true I had planned for the change by  taking courses at night in Chicago, but I had not known about the shock of leaving my family permanently.

What the books say about the midlife crisis proved true in my case--I should have consulted them!  There's the longing to change--in my case, a career change.  There's the development of a new creature along the lines of your fantasy of what you want to become.  How much of the past will continue with your new life will remain uncertain as you change.  But there's the promise of new opportunities for self-development far beyond what you can conceive of.

What is the guide during your social love of midlife crisis is your fantasy, what you dream of  becoming.  To this day, I regard myself as a humanist first and foremost.  It's the vision I've carried with me since fantasizing of a career change, of the new creature I wished to become.

The Meta-Elements of SL During Midlife Crisis

1.  You reach out to develop your fantasy, of who you really are, i.e., who you want to be.
2.  You plan for the change particularly talking with others who show you what the fantasy is, the path you must take to make the change successfully.
3.  You take the courses, mingle with those who will help you change.  These others are your mentors--who are to lead you to the fulfillment of the new you!
4.  You come to understand your new capaciies and become aware of new opportunities; and how to develop them through networking with others.
5.  Your fantasy guides you through the very difficult period of transition.  It's vital to hold on to the fantasy of who you are becoming as you adjust to the new realm of your being.

Walla, you are now your fantasy of being.  It will lead you to new wonders and exciting adventures.  You are prepared to experience the joy of change!  For instance, I travelled the world over!

I do indeed approve of undergoing the strains of midlife crisis.  Try it; invent a new life for yourself!