SL in Old Age: Disassociating Oneself

There's a relatively new field in the social sciences called gerontology.  It studies old age life styles and the impact old age people have upon the social system.  I'm nearly 73, so I know about old age problems and lifestyles from my own experience.  Additionally, I took several courses on lifelong learning opportunities for the elderly at the University of Chicago under Professor Griffith, who later went to Canada to a university up there.  We used gerontology studies as a backdrop to designing adult learning situations.
The point I wish to make here is that social love in old age is encountered in the process of one's dissociating himself from the mainstream milieu.  It is that aspect of dissociation involving making substitutions for the partnerships and relationships that were how the individual met his basic needs in his active life with those typically reserved for the elderly.

Reference books in this area, i.e., the topic of old age, usually are written by MDs; and I would say as a rule, MDs know little about the social aspects of persons in mental and physical decline.  Most of the books I've read, in fact, attempt to glorify old age as a period or phase of tremendous opportunity and further growth of one's potential, admitting as well it has moments of human agony.  In any case, everybody who is interested in the topic admits it's a period a human being should expect to undergo in his final years of life.

The Disassociating Process
So, let's see what really goes on during one's old age:
  --retirement from work, gainful employment.  Dissociating self from a sustaining livelihood.
  --relocating to a retirement community as the primary residence; sometimes, entering an assisted living facility (on a referral basis); sometimes, going to a convalescent home or some other home designated for the elderly
  --coming to rely upon a senior center for one's knowledge of resources and services available to him as a senior.  The senior centers, usually run by the county, provide lunch, and offer a place to make friends with other seniors by participating in the social programs of playing games, dancing, attending seminars.  They also serve as a nexus for food distribution of regional food banks.  Finally, they give legal referrals and offer social services, e.g., case management.  As I will point out below, these centers are developing a new position I call an Elderly Advocate, whose training is in social work, and by becoming a client, the senior increases his knowledge of options available in housing, medical, dental, Medicare insurance, etc. Many of these centers also provide opportunities for exercising, e.g., a class in yoga.  Indeed, these centers should be frequently visited by all seniors!
  --attend a senior day care center where social workers provide supervision and direction.  Provide transportation via a van to this center.  Usually a senior is recommended to join the group when otherwise he would be alone in his house the day long.
  --for education, attending classes and seminars at lifelong learning centers attached to universities and community colleges
  --come to rely upon public transportation.  The county government usually offers a coupon program that enables seniors to ride a taxi at a reduced rate.  In addition to bus transportation, the county may offer van service between various senior residences and the local senior center.  It is sad, to my mind, that some seniors continue to drive a car into their late 70's and in their 80's!
  --keeping in touch with one's old friends of his active days and making himself available to attend their funerals!

As one becomes old, he comes to utter frequent pleas for help.  Within the familial bounds, some close relative is appointed to receive and respond to these.  The family doctor may designate some nurse to listen in matters medical.  If the family doctor receives too many complaints from a particular old person, the MD may refer him to a specialist, who charges much more for services of succor.  Eventually, the elderly is entrusted to a home nurse or practitioner who may assume some of the house chores.  Withal, the aging senior is becoming increasingly isolated, for no one wants to listen to a constant complainer!  Indeed, those professionals he comes into contact with may finally throw up their hands and tell him to "get with it!"  At this juncture, the elderly's disassociation is complete!

What is the senior's typical reaction to his own disassociation?  In an important book on aging Aging Well (2002). author George Vaillant summarizes from the Harvard Studies on the topic what they observed:  the aging adult becomes increasingly blaze, distant; displaying an "aloof" attitude toward what is happening in the world (even in the world of family, wherein kids are being raised).  It may seem to others that this old man or woman has has reached the pinnacle of wisdom, taking all things in stride, but in reality, he is in the throes of withdrawal from involvement in everyday activities, where decisions about kids and money are being made by others.

Still more observations about old age maturing coming out the Harvard studies: the senior becomes warm, arousing in those he loves an endearing predisposition, e.g., as in a child's loving statement, "Oh, Grandpa, it's so nice of you to like my playing the piano!"  He also displays greater self-confidence, if not being able to show greater self-reliance.  That is to say, he increasingly stays within himself, finding greater satisfaction in himself than in what others say and think of him.

The Insinuation of a Social Worker as an Elderly Advocate                    
Everybody needs housing.  But the options for senior housing are specifically delineated.  Moreover, the availability of any particular kind of housing or of housing in a particular location is very tight.  Some social worker designated an Elderly Advocate, e.g., in a Senior Center or Social Service Agency is to help seniors get into the housing situation suitable for them.  Seniors have other needs specifically related to their age and capacities; and the Elderly Advocate is the one who should work with them to meet these.

The Advocate should meet with each elderly client at least once a month.  Trained to observe changes in the elderly mental and physical condition, the Advocate also functions as a monitor to determine whether the elderly individual is functioning so as to meet his basic needs on his own.  The Advocate makes recommendations when he discerns the individual is "losing it," so to speak.

It is essential that a senior find a Social Worker as Advocate with whom he can bind (i.e., enter the condition of Social Love).  The Advocate is to work on behalf of his senior clients such that the basic needs of the several clients are being met; and each client should evaluate the Advocate's pereformance on his behalf.

The Impact of the Advocate's Insinuation
You can see that the Advocate's role is vital in terms of protecting the interests of the elderly.  It should prevent elderly abuse wherever it occurs, not simply in the circumstance described in the play One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest!  
  
More important, the Advocate should have a say in designing services for the senior population.  Indeed, if the position becomes widespread and competently filled, the elderly will be truly blest!

Using an Elderly Advocate     
As I say, I'm an elderly adult, nearly 73.  Over the past 10 years or more, I've used several Social Workers in the capacity of Elderly Advocate.  Usually, I've found one in a Senior Center's Social Services Department, but also, the Lutheran Social Services Agency in Washington, DC and in Omaha has been a reliable source.  I haven't found the Salvation Army providing adequate services in the capacity of Elderly Advocate, however.  Well, that's been my experience.

The Advocates I've used do best at laying out options.  They also do very well at giving me feedback on how I'm functioning mentally and physically.  Outstanding was the Advocate I had in LA at Saint Bonaventure's Senior Center.  He went through with me the pros and cons of leaving LA for Reno; and offered that should I need to live in an assisted living situation he'd get me in pronto!

Occasionally, I've had a Social Worker as Advocate who thinks she should "rat on me" for the good of society--as she envisions it!  Like a young child, she watches my every move and gesture and carefully probes what I meant by what I said, looking to find some sign of mental or physical deterioration!  Needless to say, I quickly drop her and seek the services of another.  For, when all is said and done, I think their help on behalf of the old is invaluable!